Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men - Season 1 Episode 4 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

Two adults. One kid. No grown-ups. 2015-02-19 United States of America 48 minutes.

7.45 3375 votes

Comedy sibling relationship california composer roommates evil mother malibu advertising drinking beach house casual sex sitcom living with sibling rich brother

Episodes
Info
Cast

Season - Episode

12 Season 12 Oct 29, 2014

12 - 1

The Ol' Mexican Spinach Oct 29, 2014
12 - 2

A Chic Bar in Ibiza Nov 05, 2014
12 - 3

Glamping in a Yurt Nov 12, 2014
12 - 4

Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight Nov 19, 2014
12 - 5

Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. Nov 26, 2014
12 - 6

Alan Shot a Little Girl Dec 03, 2014
12 - 7

Sex with an Animated Ed Asner Dec 09, 2014
12 - 8

Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey Dec 17, 2014
12 - 9

Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey Jan 08, 2015
12 - 10

Here I Come, Pants! Jan 15, 2015
12 - 11

For Whom the Booty Calls Jan 22, 2015
12 - 12

A Beer-Battered Rip-Off Jan 29, 2015
12 - 13

Boompa Loved His Hookers Feb 05, 2015
12 - 14

Don't Give a Monkey a Gun Feb 12, 2015
12 - 15

Of Course He's Dead (1) Feb 19, 2015
12 - 16

Of Course He's Dead (2) Feb 19, 2015

11 Season 11 Sep 26, 2013

11 - 1

Nangnangnangnang Sep 26, 2013
11 - 2

I Think I Banged Lucille Ball Oct 03, 2013
11 - 3

This Unblessed Biscuit Oct 10, 2013
11 - 4

Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank Oct 17, 2013
11 - 5

Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 Oct 24, 2013
11 - 6

Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants Nov 07, 2013
11 - 7

Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie Nov 14, 2013
11 - 8

Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. Nov 21, 2013
11 - 9

Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer Dec 05, 2013
11 - 10

On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! Dec 12, 2013
11 - 11

Tazed in the Lady Nuts Jan 02, 2014
11 - 12

Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. Jan 09, 2014
11 - 13

Bite Me, Supreme Court Jan 30, 2014
11 - 14

Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe Feb 06, 2014
11 - 15

Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin Feb 27, 2014
11 - 16

How to Get Rid of Alan Harper Mar 06, 2014
11 - 17

Welcome Home, Jake Mar 13, 2014
11 - 18

West Side Story Apr 03, 2014
11 - 19

Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang Apr 10, 2014
11 - 20

Lotta Delis in Little Armenia Apr 24, 2014
11 - 21

Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot May 01, 2014
11 - 22

Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead May 08, 2014

10 Season 10 Sep 27, 2012

10 - 1

I Changed My Mind About the Milk Sep 27, 2012
10 - 2

A Big Bag of Dog Oct 04, 2012
10 - 3

Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt Oct 11, 2012
10 - 4

You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For Oct 18, 2012
10 - 5

That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam Oct 25, 2012
10 - 6

Ferrets, Attack! Nov 01, 2012
10 - 7

Avoid the Chinese Mustard Nov 08, 2012
10 - 8

Something My Gynecologist Said Nov 15, 2012
10 - 9

I Scream When I Pee Nov 29, 2012
10 - 10

One Nut Johnson Dec 06, 2012
10 - 11

Give Santa a Tail-Hole Dec 13, 2012
10 - 12

Welcome to Alancrest Jan 03, 2013
10 - 13

Grab a Feather and Get in Line Jan 10, 2013
10 - 14

Run, Steven Staven! Run! Jan 31, 2013
10 - 15

Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It Feb 07, 2013
10 - 16

Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby Feb 14, 2013
10 - 17

Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries Feb 21, 2013
10 - 18

The 9:04 from Pemberton Mar 07, 2013
10 - 19

Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon Mar 14, 2013
10 - 20

Bazinga! That's From a TV Show Apr 04, 2013
10 - 21

Another Night with Neil Diamond Apr 25, 2013
10 - 22

My Bodacious Vidalia May 02, 2013
10 - 23

Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped May 09, 2013

9 Season 9 Sep 19, 2011

9 - 1

Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt Sep 19, 2011
9 - 2

People Who Love Peepholes Sep 26, 2011
9 - 3

Big Girls Don't Throw Food Oct 03, 2011
9 - 4

Nine Magic Fingers Oct 10, 2011
9 - 5

A Giant Cat Holding a Churro Oct 17, 2011
9 - 6

The Squat and the Hover Oct 24, 2011
9 - 7

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets Oct 31, 2011
9 - 8

Thank You for the Intercourse Nov 07, 2011
9 - 9

Frodo's Headshots Nov 14, 2011
9 - 10

A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes Nov 21, 2011
9 - 11

What a Lovely Landing Strip Dec 05, 2011
9 - 12

One False Move, Zimbabwe! Dec 12, 2011
9 - 13

Slowly and in a Circular Fashion Jan 02, 2012
9 - 14

A Possum on Chemo Jan 16, 2012
9 - 15

The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack Feb 06, 2012
9 - 16

Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy Feb 13, 2012
9 - 17

Not in My Mouth! Feb 20, 2012
9 - 18

The War Against Gingivitis Feb 27, 2012
9 - 19

Palmdale, Ech Mar 19, 2012
9 - 20

Grandma's Pie Apr 09, 2012
9 - 21

Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' Apr 16, 2012
9 - 22

Why We Gave Up Women Apr 30, 2012
9 - 23

The Straw in My Donut Hole May 07, 2012
9 - 24

Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! May 14, 2012

8 Season 8 Sep 20, 2010

8 - 1

Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud Sep 20, 2010
8 - 2

A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer Sep 27, 2010
8 - 3

A Pudding-Filled Cactus Oct 04, 2010
8 - 4

Hookers, Hookers, Hookers Oct 11, 2010
8 - 5

The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel Oct 18, 2010
8 - 6

Twanging Your Magic Clanger Oct 25, 2010
8 - 7

The Crazy Bitch Gazette Nov 01, 2010
8 - 8

Springtime on a Stick Nov 08, 2010
8 - 9

A Good Time in Central Africa Nov 15, 2010
8 - 10

Ow, Ow, Don't Stop Nov 22, 2010
8 - 11

Dead from the Waist Down Dec 06, 2010
8 - 12

Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead Dec 13, 2010
8 - 13

Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup Jan 03, 2011
8 - 14

Lookin' for Japanese Subs Jan 17, 2011
8 - 15

Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak Feb 07, 2011
8 - 16

That Darn Priest Feb 14, 2011

7 Season 7 Sep 21, 2009

7 - 1

818-jklpuzo Sep 21, 2009
7 - 2

Whipped Unto the Third Generation Sep 28, 2009
7 - 3

Mmm, Fish. Yum. Oct 05, 2009
7 - 4

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator Oct 12, 2009
7 - 5

For the Sake of the Child Oct 19, 2009
7 - 6

Give Me Your Thumb Nov 02, 2009
7 - 7

Untainted by Filth Nov 09, 2009
7 - 8

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. Nov 16, 2009
7 - 9

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair Nov 23, 2009
7 - 10

That's Why They Call It Ball Room Dec 07, 2009
7 - 11

Warning, It's Dirty Dec 14, 2009
7 - 12

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste Jan 11, 2010
7 - 13

Yay, No Polyps! Jan 18, 2010
7 - 14

Crude and Uncalled For (1) Feb 01, 2010
7 - 15

Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2) Feb 08, 2010
7 - 16

Tinkle Like a Princess Mar 01, 2010
7 - 17

I Found Your Moustache Mar 08, 2010
7 - 18

Ixnay on the Oggie Day Mar 22, 2010
7 - 19

Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave Apr 12, 2010
7 - 20

I Called Him Magoo May 10, 2010
7 - 21

Gumby with a Pokey May 17, 2010
7 - 22

This Is Not Gonna End Well May 24, 2010

6 Season 6 Sep 22, 2008

6 - 1

Taterhead Is Our Love Child Sep 22, 2008
6 - 2

Pie Hole, Herb Sep 29, 2008
6 - 3

Damn You, Eggs Benedict Oct 06, 2008
6 - 4

The Flavin' and the Mavin' Oct 13, 2008
6 - 5

A Jock Strap in Hell Oct 20, 2008
6 - 6

It's Always Nazi Week Nov 03, 2008
6 - 7

Best H.O. Money Can Buy Nov 10, 2008
6 - 8

Pinocchio's Mouth Nov 17, 2008
6 - 9

The Mooch at the Boo Nov 24, 2008
6 - 10

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited Dec 08, 2008
6 - 11

The Devil's Lube Dec 15, 2008
6 - 12

Thank God for Scoliosis Jan 12, 2009
6 - 13

I Think You Offended Don Jan 19, 2009
6 - 14

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie Feb 02, 2009
6 - 15

I'd Like to Start with the Cat Feb 09, 2009
6 - 16

She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime Mar 02, 2009
6 - 17

The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? Mar 09, 2009
6 - 18

My Son's Enormous Head Mar 16, 2009
6 - 19

The Two Finger Rule Mar 30, 2009
6 - 20

Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau Apr 13, 2009
6 - 21

Above Exalted Cyclops Apr 27, 2009
6 - 22

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box May 04, 2009
6 - 23

Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth May 11, 2009
6 - 24

Baseball Was Better with Steroids May 18, 2009

5 Season 5 Sep 24, 2007

5 - 1

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom Sep 24, 2007
5 - 2

Media Room Slash Dungeon Oct 01, 2007
5 - 3

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo Oct 08, 2007
5 - 4

City of Great Racks Oct 15, 2007
5 - 5

Putting Swim Fins on a Cat Oct 22, 2007
5 - 6

Help Daddy Find His Toenail Oct 29, 2007
5 - 7

Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room Nov 05, 2007
5 - 8

Is There a Mrs. Waffles? Nov 12, 2007
5 - 9

Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids Nov 19, 2007
5 - 10

Kinda Like Necrophilia Nov 26, 2007
5 - 11

Meander to Your Dander Mar 17, 2008
5 - 12

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh Mar 24, 2008
5 - 13

The Soil Is Moist Mar 31, 2008
5 - 14

Winky-Dink Time Apr 14, 2008
5 - 15

Rough Night in Hump Junction Apr 21, 2008
5 - 16

Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty Apr 28, 2008
5 - 17

Fish in a Drawer May 05, 2008
5 - 18

If My Hole Could Talk May 12, 2008
5 - 19

Waiting for the Right Snapper May 19, 2008

4 Season 4 Sep 18, 2006

4 - 1

Working for Caligula Sep 18, 2006
4 - 2

Who's Vod Kanockers? Sep 25, 2006
4 - 3

The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress Oct 02, 2006
4 - 4

A Pot Smoking Monkey Oct 09, 2006
4 - 5

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility Oct 16, 2006
4 - 6

Apologies for the Frivolity Oct 23, 2006
4 - 7

Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head Nov 06, 2006
4 - 8

Release the Dogs Nov 13, 2006
4 - 9

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour Nov 20, 2006
4 - 10

Kissing Abraham Lincoln Nov 27, 2006
4 - 11

Walnuts and Demerol Dec 11, 2006
4 - 12

Castrating Sheep in Montana Jan 08, 2007
4 - 13

Don't Worry, Speed Racer Jan 22, 2007
4 - 14

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami Feb 05, 2007
4 - 15

My Damn Stalker Feb 12, 2007
4 - 16

Young People Have Phlegm Too Feb 19, 2007
4 - 17

I Merely Slept with a Commie Feb 26, 2007
4 - 18

It Never Rains in Hooterville Mar 19, 2007
4 - 19

Smooth as a Ken Doll Apr 09, 2007
4 - 20

Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot Apr 16, 2007
4 - 21

Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous Apr 23, 2007
4 - 22

Mr. McGlue's Feedbag Apr 30, 2007
4 - 23

Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin' May 07, 2007
4 - 24

Prostitutes and Gelato May 14, 2007

3 Season 3 Sep 19, 2005

3 - 1

Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts Sep 19, 2005
3 - 2

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover Sep 26, 2005
3 - 3

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark Oct 03, 2005
3 - 4

Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs Oct 10, 2005
3 - 5

We Called It Mr. Pinky Oct 17, 2005
3 - 6

Hi, Mr. Horned One Oct 24, 2005
3 - 7

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop Nov 07, 2005
3 - 8

That Voodoo That I Do Do Nov 14, 2005
3 - 9

Madame and Her Special Friend Nov 21, 2005
3 - 10

Something Salted and Twisted Nov 28, 2005
3 - 11

Santa's Village of the Damned Dec 19, 2005
3 - 12

That Special Tug Jan 09, 2006
3 - 13

Humiliation Is a Visual Medium Jan 23, 2006
3 - 14

Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded Feb 06, 2006
3 - 15

My Tongue is Meat Feb 27, 2006
3 - 16

Ergo, the Booty Call Mar 06, 2006
3 - 17

The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer Mar 13, 2006
3 - 18

The Spit-Covered Cobbler Mar 20, 2006
3 - 19

Golly Moses, She's a Muffin Apr 10, 2006
3 - 20

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro Apr 24, 2006
3 - 21

And the Plot Moistens May 01, 2006
3 - 22

Just Once with Aunt Sophie May 08, 2006
3 - 23

Arguments for the Quickie May 15, 2006
3 - 24

That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite May 22, 2006

2 Season 2 Sep 19, 2004

2 - 1

Back Off, Mary Poppins Sep 19, 2004
2 - 2

Enjoy Those Garlic Balls Sep 26, 2004
2 - 3

A Bag Full of Jawea Oct 02, 2004
2 - 4

Go Get Mommy's Bra Oct 10, 2004
2 - 5

Bad News from the Clinic? Oct 17, 2004
2 - 6

The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance Oct 24, 2004
2 - 7

A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana Nov 07, 2004
2 - 8

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers Nov 14, 2004
2 - 9

Yes, Monsignor Nov 21, 2004
2 - 10

The Salmon Under My Sweater Nov 28, 2004
2 - 11

Last Chance to See Those Tattoos Dec 12, 2004
2 - 12

A Lungful of Alan Jan 02, 2005
2 - 13

Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair) Jan 15, 2005
2 - 14

Those Big Pink Things with Coconut Jan 30, 2005
2 - 15

Smell the Umbrella Stand Feb 06, 2005
2 - 16

Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth? Feb 13, 2005
2 - 17

Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam! Feb 20, 2005
2 - 18

It Was Mame, Mom Mar 06, 2005
2 - 19

A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise Mar 20, 2005
2 - 20

I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey Apr 17, 2005
2 - 21

A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On Apr 30, 2005
2 - 22

That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother May 08, 2005
2 - 23

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab May 15, 2005
2 - 24

Does This Smell Funny to You? May 22, 2005

1 Season 1 Sep 22, 2003

1 - 1

Pilot Sep 22, 2003
1 - 2

Big Flappy Bastards Sep 29, 2003
1 - 3

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell Oct 05, 2003
1 - 4

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap Oct 12, 2003
1 - 5

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump Oct 19, 2003
1 - 6

Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? Oct 26, 2003
1 - 7

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake Nov 02, 2003
1 - 8

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful Nov 09, 2003
1 - 9

Phase One, Complete Nov 15, 2003
1 - 10

Merry Thanksgiving Nov 23, 2003
1 - 11

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor Dec 14, 2003
1 - 12

Camel Filters and Pheromones Jan 04, 2004
1 - 13

Sarah Like Puny Alan Jan 10, 2004
1 - 14

I Can't Afford Hyenas Feb 01, 2004
1 - 15

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick Feb 08, 2004
1 - 16

That Was Saliva, Alan Feb 15, 2004
1 - 17

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats Feb 22, 2004
1 - 18

An Old Flame with a New Wick Feb 29, 2004
1 - 19

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You Mar 21, 2004
1 - 20

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark Apr 18, 2004
1 - 21

No Sniffing, No Wowing May 02, 2004
1 - 22

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet May 09, 2004
1 - 23

Just Like Buffalo May 16, 2004
1 - 24

Can You Feel My Finger? May 23, 2004

0 Season 0 Jan 01, 1970

0 - 1

Original Pilot - Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal Jan 01, 1970
0 - 2

Jake's A Regular Kid Jan 01, 1970
0 - 3

Jennifer Taylor on Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer Marriage Problems Jan 01, 1970
0 - 4

Jon Cryer wins an Emmy for Two and a Half Men at the 2009 Primetime Emmy Awards Jan 01, 1970
0 - 5

Behind the Scenes Jan 01, 1970
0 - 6

Finding Angus Jan 01, 1970
0 - 7

Getting Charlie Sheen Jan 01, 1970
0 - 8

Jennifer Taylor Jan 01, 1970
0 - 9

Jon's Advice to Charlie Jan 01, 1970
0 - 10

Mama's Boys Jan 01, 1970
0 - 11

Marin Hinkle Jan 01, 1970
0 - 12

Two and a Half Men and CSI - Behind the Scenes Cross Over Jan 01, 1970
0 - 13

Two and a Half Men and CSI - Behind the Scenes Cross Over 2 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 14

Bloopers Season 01 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 15

Bloopers Season 02 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 16

Bloopers Season 03 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 17

Bloopers Season 04 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 18

Bloopers Season 05 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 19

Bloopers Season 06 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 20

Bloopers Season 07 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 21

Bloopers Season 08 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 22

Bloopers Season 09 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 23

Bloopers Season 10 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 24

Bloopers Season 11 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 25

Bloopers Season 12 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 26

Two and a Half Men - In the Beginning Jan 01, 1970
0 - 27

Two man talking about Two and a Half Men Jan 01, 1970
0 - 28

The 100th episode of Two and a Half Men Jan 01, 1970
0 - 29

"Must Pause TV" - The story of Chuck Lorre Jan 01, 1970
0 - 30

Two and a Half Men: Dying Is Easy, Comedy Is Hard Jan 01, 1970
0 - 31

CSI-Episode: Two and a Half Deaths Jan 01, 1970
0 - 32

Growing up Harper Jan 01, 1970
0 - 33

The Women of Two and a Half Men Jan 01, 1970
0 - 34

Charlie's EX Reunion Jan 01, 1970
0 - 35

Two and a Half Men Version 2.0 Jan 01, 1970
0 - 36

The Billionaire Upgrade: How Walden Schmidt redesigned the house in Malibu Jan 01, 1970
0 - 37

Two Manly Men - Singing and Dancing Jan 01, 1970
0 - 38

Backstage Tour with Angus T. Jones Jan 01, 2007
0 - 39

Two Adults, One Kid, No Grown-ups Jan 01, 2007
0 - 40

The Serious Business of Writing Comedy Jan 01, 2008
0 - 41

A Day in the Life of Two and a Half Men Jan 01, 2008

Overview

Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

Year 2015

Studio CBS

Director Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

Crew Jim Patterson (Executive Producer), Tim Kelleher (Consulting Producer), Mark Davison (Director of Photography), Joe Bella (Co-Producer), Chuck Lorre (Executive Producer)

Popularity 166.705

Language English

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